Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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