And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
