fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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