Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
