I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
