you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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