I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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