does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I want to have your abortion
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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