After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
