I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
