I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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