The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
