my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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