what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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