Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
