if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
