on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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