I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
