You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
