I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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