dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
