Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
