You can't motorboat a personality
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize