Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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