Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
