the condom got lost in my hair
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
