Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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