thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
