and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
