why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
