Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize