Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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