so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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