if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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