just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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