you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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