thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
