You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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