Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize