just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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