weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
