I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
