I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
