last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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