Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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