she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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