don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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