so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
