I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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