there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
