is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think my moral compass just broke
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
