i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
