I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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