And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
