Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
