sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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