Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
